....Or Breast Cancer Awareness Month! That's right, dear friends, I'll be Going Pink for this entire month. If you think reading a blog in shades of pink is bad---imagine losing your best friend (yes, even men can get breast cancer!) to breast cancer!

Do your monthly checks, remind your friends, your SnB, your church, your babysitter(s).... It's time for us to quit losing family and friends and start beating cancer down!

Donate to research, if you can. Read about breast cancer, for sure. Learn about new methods of detection. Anyone heard more about the two high-school girls who found a correlation to type of thumb print and history of breast cancer? I think they're in college up north somewhere---I want to say in Canada...

Stick with me this month while we're pink. It's less painful than a mammogram (when are insurance companies gonna understand that and start supporting these new methods?). It's less permanent than a mastectomy. And knowledge, my friends, is POWER!

Today I had a follow-up visit with my breast surgeon (hey, how many people have their own breast surgeon, eh? *wink*) and she gave me the all-clear. The biopsy results came back: the mass was a cystic fatty necrosis. There was a cyst at the center of the mass. I don't know which came first---the mass or the cyst, but I do know cystic breasts (is that the right term?) run in the family. So, I'm through with Dr. Hermmann---which we're both glad for. If the mass returns/recurrs, then we'll probably do a needle biopsy and go from there.

I want to send out a huge thank-you to all of those out there who read this blog and have had me on their prayer lists. I don't worship, believing in something way more nebulous than a Supreme Deity who watches over us, but I do believe in the incredible power of prayer itself. Perhaps your God exists and he was watching over me. Perhaps one of the other gods out there heard a plea for me. All I know is that I am incredibly thankful for this diagnosis and I believe you all had a part in that outcome. So, thank you.

In knitting news, I received an incredible skein of yarn which I bought over at Perchance To Knit. Nick picked this skein out himself---and I'm hoping the offer of working with him so he can knit his own pair of socks will finally get him to perservere and try knitting again. He's a very stubborn "perfectionist": if he can't do it perfectly the first time, then he quits. ::shakes head:: That doesn't work. And I'm determined to get him to the point where he can hold up a finished project---a dishcloth?---and say, "I made this!"

Blue Blip from Perchance to Knit

And here's a peek at my current stash of Perchance to Knit yarn:

My Perchance to Knit Collection

Clockwise from the black/grey at the top, they are: "His", "MIiss Violet's Stormbow", "Foxtrot", "Cha-Cha", "Blue Blip", and "Pastel Rainbow Black". And while writing this up, I managed to order *another* skein of yarn from her.....I didn't even stop to see the name of it. It was purple, what else did I need to know???? *grin*

So, should I *still* treat myself a little....or was that "enough"? (Come on someone, encourage me to be bad!)

Thursday's surgery was successful. At least, that's what the doctor said---I'm too sore to try to feel the non-existent mass. I'm surprised that she chose to make a horizontal incision as the mass seemed mostly vertical. The incision is covered with "steri-strips" and those won't come off until next week at the doctor's office or "on their own". I'm bruised, sore and discolored---probably from something like
mercurochrome (which apparently can't be sold in the US---is this true???).

I'm a little nervous about the scar that might be left behind---but of course would prefer a scar than breast cancer! We'll find out the results of the biopsy in 5-7 days. My doctor is confident it was just "fatty necrosis" which sounds *so* unlovely.

As for KiPing (knitting in public) ....I tried to knit in my hospital bed while waiting for surgery, but the IV was put in on the back of my right hand. I thought that wouldn't matter (being a lefty) but I really wasn't comfortable with even the small movements I made. *sigh* So, no knitting accomplished on Randy's sock. And at home, I've really been focusing on my sister's Huck Lace Shawl---which I'm *thrilled* with how it's turning out!

After I got out of the hospital yesterday, Randy took me to a wonderful meal---my first food since dinner the night before! And I batted my eyelashes and asked to stop at Barnes & Noble. In this area, there are no Borders Bookstores. There's a B&N on "the island" (Hilton Head), but that's the exact opposite direction of Savannah. There's also a B&N in Savannah. Since the Wal*Mart remodeled, B&N is the only place I can find knitting magazines now. Grrr.

So, let me highlight a magazine that is coming all the way across The Pond from England: Simply Knitting. This was in a sealed wrapper (like my son's Xbox magazine) because there is a free needle pouch this month. I purchased it "sight unseen" because I felt daring. And I am ever so glad! The May issue has the most adorable Teddy Bear pattern! And some other great things, I'm sure....but a Teddy Bear Pattern! Squee! And next month, they plan to have an elephant!

Okay, so I might have a little stuffed animal problem: I collect the patterns and never knit them! I really need to find a good source of stuffing. I don't want the pillowy "fill", I want something weighty-er and bean/bead like, I think. I like my stuffed animals slightly understuffed, too. Floppy. *grin*

So I'm 37 years old and I want a whole shelf of stuffed animals. Is that a problem? I think not.

Now, I'm tired. I'm going upstairs to knit a few more Huck Lace rows and listen to the last book in Catherine Asaro's Skolian Empire series, "Catch the Lightening". *sniff* When's she gonna write another one?

So I'm trying to wile away the hours until my "last meal".... I can't eat anything solid (or that I can't see through) after midnight tonight. And I have to stop with the clear fluids and such 2 hours before I arrive at the hospital. So, 10:30 am---no more anything. I'm supposed to arrive at the hospital at 12:30 and my surgery is at 2pm.

But I'm not nervous. ::shakes head::: Nope. Not me. Not nervous at all. Hehehe. Okay, maybe a little. It's mostly the whole stick a needle in my arm thing. Once that's done, I should totally be fine. I mean, they're doing this under anesthesia, so it's not like it'll hurt or anything. Right? I mean, maybe some afterwards, sure. Oh, phooey. I'm nervous.

So, I took a little test and guess what? I'm a geek. Duh.

80% GeekMingle²

Shocking. I know.

I'm still chugging away on the Huck Lace Shawl. It's really getting some comments from Randy and Nicky. My sister should be tickled if they actually let me send it out of the house. *grin*

It's too complex to take places because of the rows that need beads, so I won't take it to the hospital for all the inevitable waiting. I plan to take ::drum roll:: socks. *grin* Yep, that's me. Always with the socks, I am! (And now I've started talking like Yoda. *sigh*)

I'm a little bummed writing-wise. I've got this (short?) story idea that I think is good for a science fiction setting and I've got two different starters for it, but it feels like the whole crux of the story happens late. So, I somehow need to establish in the reader's mind "these two people are madly in love and you want them to stay together no matter what." I need to make them being together instinctively *right*, so that the problem they encounter can truly *wrench* at the reader and make them stop and think. But I can't figure out how to do that without front-loading pages and pages of them getting together and clicking like so few people rarely do.

Then, on top of that, I just saw the summary of a book (by Jerry Pournelle, of course) that I've never read....which sounds so much like a book I've got about half written. So, before I get back to work on edits for that book, I've got to track down a copy and see if it's too close.

The werewolf novel is moving. Slowly. I'm developing the main character and trying to work up some supporting characters, but the rest of it is still hugely blank to me. I stuck some Disturbed lyrics in, theoretically as place holders until I can write up some lyrics for an imaginary band the main character likes. Randy likes it as it is and he thinks I should get the band's permission to use the snippets. Mmmmm. If I thought I'd have them recurring more, I'd be more inclined to keep them, use more and get permission for all of it. But I don't know yet what I want to do. It's just a rough early draft still.

Connecting my reading/writing and my knitting together, I'm on the last book in Catherine Asaro's Skolian Empire series. I've listened to the entire series on my iPod, thanks to Audible.com. The narrator for each book has remained the same: Anna Fields. I'm not sure what kind of training a person has to do to become a narrator, but I doubt it's one many kids/teens hear about. The language abilities, the accents, the voices---deeper for some, higher for others---it's astonishing how talented these people are.

In the case of David Weber's "Off Armageddon Reef", the fact that I listened to it, instead of read it, probably saved the book for me. I bought it for Randy to read---he just doesn't enjoy the listening, but that may be because his hands have nothing to do---and he said the names were really annoying. I couldn't see why...until I scanned the printed book. "Haarahld" is pronounced by the narrator as "Harold". "Cayleb" as "Caleb". (Perhaps there's a slight lengthening of the pronunciation of "Haarahld", but still.)

I should try to get a little laundry done since I don't know how sore I'll be after tomorrow. I'll update when I can.

I'm back from today's appointment regarding the lump/mass in my breast. I hadn't actually realized that the "little" lump above the bigger lump was now part of the bigger lump...and they aren't really "lumps" any more.

Fortunately, my doctor is confident this is not a huge problem. She explained (and I haven't yet been able to repeat it and make it sound as simple as she did) that the "fatty tissue" of the breast sometimes does this when trauma to the tissue causes scarring. Add in the blood loss to the tissue, probably due to the bruising, and the fatty tissue/scarring becomes different somehow (see, I told you I couldn't explain it very well) and it sorta necrotizes. So, instead of having this malleable fatty breast tissue, I have a harder, denser tissue in my breast.

All that said, she'd like to biopsy it. But, the needle could sample "good" tissue" and not any potentially "bad" tissue. Plus, with my desire to just have the damn thing removed, it makes more sense to remove it and let Pathology analyze the whole thing. There's a risk that the incision for removal could cause further scarring (meaning: it could happen all over again) but we'll have the pathology from the this time to guide us.

So, May 31st, I go under the knife to have this mass removed and then I get to wait 4-5 days (probably all business days, so we're talking late the following week) to hear from Pathology.

Oh yay. It's so much fun being a girl.

ddtddtddtdttdtdtdtdt......Breast update.....dtttdddttddtdddtdtttt......

I've mentioned my little "gift" left from the June 2005 car accident. In February, I had a mammogram done and learned this was a common result from the "trauma" of the seat belt and/or air bag. (Damn, another reason to hate being short.) Get another mamogram in 3-4 months and pay attention to any changes.

Since then, the larger of the lumps has grown even larger---but since the doctor who did the ultrasound said that was to be expected (something about calcifying), I haven't been worried. Too much. Then, in the last week to ten days or so, I've noticed the area is slightly warmer than the rest of my breast.

No big deal. Right? Well, I mentioned it to my Mom (a registered nurse) and she said, "Uhm, you should check in with your doctor on that one. It could be an infection."

So, I added it to my "list of things to do Monday". And I actually remembered. When I called my doctor's office, she had me set up an appointment for the next morning. Wow. Okay.

Still, no reason to be nervous. Despite the nurse on the phone saying, "Could be an infection or an absess, so your Mom is right." Uh-huh.

Wait for an hour in a gown, in the examination room. See my doctor. See my doctor's really poor "doctor's face" as her mouth puckers when she encounters the lump. (At this point I already feel like it's some alien growth....didn't need the doctor's face for *that*.)

She says, "Yeah. I want you to get the 3-4 month mammogram done now and let's get it biopsied." She pauses, then adds, "If it was *me*, I'd just want it removed from my breast completely."

Okay then.

*Now*, I'm scared.