I have too many friends who've had mothers or mothers-in-law who have had too much power and influence in the wedding decisions. I can't stand by and watch in silence any more!!!! I am The Wedding Defender!
My super-power is to make the mother's of brides and grooms cry---it's not their wedding, damn it!!! Beneath my every-day clothing lurks the most awesome matron-of-honor gown, "automagically" appropriate to the wedding I'm about to attend next. With my powers, I cow the mothers whose demands reduce my friends to tears. Instead, I turn those tears back on the mothers, enabling sons and daughters to have the wedding of their dreams and thus ending the vicious cycle of Wedding Stealing!!!
If I had a "signal in the sky" it would be that tradtional image of two bells side-by-side, topped by a ribbon, which sends most females into "wedding frenzy". Shine my symbol in the sky and I'll come running! Mothers of the bride, beware of...
The Wedding Defender!!! (echo: er-er-er-er-er)