So I'm trying to wile away the hours until my "last meal".... I can't eat anything solid (or that I can't see through) after midnight tonight. And I have to stop with the clear fluids and such 2 hours before I arrive at the hospital. So, 10:30 am---no more anything. I'm supposed to arrive at the hospital at 12:30 and my surgery is at 2pm.

But I'm not nervous. ::shakes head::: Nope. Not me. Not nervous at all. Hehehe. Okay, maybe a little. It's mostly the whole stick a needle in my arm thing. Once that's done, I should totally be fine. I mean, they're doing this under anesthesia, so it's not like it'll hurt or anything. Right? I mean, maybe some afterwards, sure. Oh, phooey. I'm nervous.

So, I took a little test and guess what? I'm a geek. Duh.

80% GeekMingle²

Shocking. I know.

I'm still chugging away on the Huck Lace Shawl. It's really getting some comments from Randy and Nicky. My sister should be tickled if they actually let me send it out of the house. *grin*

It's too complex to take places because of the rows that need beads, so I won't take it to the hospital for all the inevitable waiting. I plan to take ::drum roll:: socks. *grin* Yep, that's me. Always with the socks, I am! (And now I've started talking like Yoda. *sigh*)

I'm a little bummed writing-wise. I've got this (short?) story idea that I think is good for a science fiction setting and I've got two different starters for it, but it feels like the whole crux of the story happens late. So, I somehow need to establish in the reader's mind "these two people are madly in love and you want them to stay together no matter what." I need to make them being together instinctively *right*, so that the problem they encounter can truly *wrench* at the reader and make them stop and think. But I can't figure out how to do that without front-loading pages and pages of them getting together and clicking like so few people rarely do.

Then, on top of that, I just saw the summary of a book (by Jerry Pournelle, of course) that I've never read....which sounds so much like a book I've got about half written. So, before I get back to work on edits for that book, I've got to track down a copy and see if it's too close.

The werewolf novel is moving. Slowly. I'm developing the main character and trying to work up some supporting characters, but the rest of it is still hugely blank to me. I stuck some Disturbed lyrics in, theoretically as place holders until I can write up some lyrics for an imaginary band the main character likes. Randy likes it as it is and he thinks I should get the band's permission to use the snippets. Mmmmm. If I thought I'd have them recurring more, I'd be more inclined to keep them, use more and get permission for all of it. But I don't know yet what I want to do. It's just a rough early draft still.

Connecting my reading/writing and my knitting together, I'm on the last book in Catherine Asaro's Skolian Empire series. I've listened to the entire series on my iPod, thanks to Audible.com. The narrator for each book has remained the same: Anna Fields. I'm not sure what kind of training a person has to do to become a narrator, but I doubt it's one many kids/teens hear about. The language abilities, the accents, the voices---deeper for some, higher for others---it's astonishing how talented these people are.

In the case of David Weber's "Off Armageddon Reef", the fact that I listened to it, instead of read it, probably saved the book for me. I bought it for Randy to read---he just doesn't enjoy the listening, but that may be because his hands have nothing to do---and he said the names were really annoying. I couldn't see why...until I scanned the printed book. "Haarahld" is pronounced by the narrator as "Harold". "Cayleb" as "Caleb". (Perhaps there's a slight lengthening of the pronunciation of "Haarahld", but still.)

I should try to get a little laundry done since I don't know how sore I'll be after tomorrow. I'll update when I can.

The mail brought news from New York today. Mr. Stanley Schmidt, editor of Analog, personally passed on "Heat of Ice". That's the farthest I've gotten anywhere. Yay! "Heat of Ice" goes back out in tomorrow's post to visit with Mr. Gordon Van Gelder, editor of Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction.

Also winging its way to someone special is my last SP9 package. It will be leaving along with "Heat of Ice". I'm looking forward to seeing what my pal thinks of this latest package. *grin*

I'm trying to get the werewolf novel started, so that's all for tonight.

Christmas I can't seem to get into the mood for the holidays. When did "getting into the mood" become such a chore? Randy helped a little tonight when I asked for a "pre-approved spending limit". As long as I keep my spending under that amount (and all together on that one card), I can have a blast. The hard part now is this: what do I buy for the most amazing man ever, who has a pathetic-looking wish-list? I want to come up with something that he wouldn't think of buying himself. We've decided to wait on the brewing set until after we return to Arizona because of the 3 glass carboys in the system. We've wanted to set him up to brew for 15+ years; we can wait a while longer.

Jewelry I added a new topic category tonight (can't believe I didn't do it sooner!) because I finally have a decent photo of a piece of jewelry I made!

This was for my Secret Santa in my local SnB group. She's away on her honeymoon, so she hasn't seen it yet! (And I don't think she knows about this blog either.)

Writing I have been listening to a lot of Disturbed lately. I love the lyrics and the sounds of this group. There's something... I don't know if "primal" is the word I want or if it's what it makes me feel/think. Everytime I listen to the Ten Thousand Fists album, my mind starts thinking on this werewolf novel I want to write. I really need to find the wireless headphones that Randy said I could borrow from him because when I write, I really rock out and living in a townhouse in "conservative central" is not the place to rock out without headphones.

I'm still mulling over this werewolf idea. It's not quite a full concept yet. I feel like I have a background/backdrop for the story to be told against, I feel like I have a cultural setting for the werewolves to come from and I think I have a main character and some of her back-story laid out. Now what I need is the thread of the story to weave into this tapestry. As Dr. Cook used to say in class, "What is the blip on the lifeline?" I don't know yet. I think it has to do with her origins, but what?

As for the mechanics of writing... I'm trying not to be a superstitious twit, but I feel like something in Arizona clicked my muse and my talent together and made the writing happen. Yes, I still had to put the time in at the keyboard. Yes, I still had to read, re-read, edit, re-write and so forth. But that initial thrust had within it a life of its own; even in the rough stages, it breathed. So, I'm trying not to fall for this concept and believe in myself that all that happened in Arizona was that I believed in my writing enough to create.

Is it coincidence that I've not written anything that has had that same life to it since Arizona? Or is it since I didn't get accepted to Clarion West 2005? Did that shake my faith more than I've had a chance to accept?

See, the timeline went like this:

As this table might show, I wasn't very focused on my writing after Clarion West passed me over. To be clear: I'm not "bitter". I really don't think I am. I just question my faith in my talent/skill and the industry. I had been taking some writing classes at ASU with Dr. Cook. He really shook up my preconceptions about authors and publishers, about the market and the money. I can pour my blood, sweat and tears into the best novel. I can send it out to the publishers who work in the genre.

While I don't mind competition, I do mind having to compete against the crap some established authors are putting out because they (and their publishers) know anything with their name on it will sell. My novel has to fight through a smaller market these days, past internist slush readers who probably haven't read the genre very widely or deeply. If I'm lucky/talented enough to get accepted, I'll see maybe $5,000 on that novel. It will take 18 months to go from acceptance to stores. Very few authors hit that magical juxtaposition of planets/fates to be a "J K Rowling" or "Stephen King". So, realistically, if my first novel does reasonably well, I might be able to sell books 2 and 3 for the same price.

Do I think my work could stand against what is being sold in bookstores right now? My answer is a resounding yes. Do I have a chance to get seen by the right publisher? Do I want to work that hard? Is it really "that hard"? I just don't know.

Now, present-day, I think I'm finally starting to turn my creative wheels again. I've not been thinking so much about "will I get published"; I've been zoning out thinking about "what's her story?"

Has my faith returned? That's where the whole "superstition" of this thing comes into play. If I can sit down and hit that zone where magic happens, then I'd say yes. If not, then I'm more likely to exhibit some superstition and say, "It'll come back when I get back to Arizona." And that, my friends, will not be a pleasant discovery.

I don't know about other bloggers, since I'm kinda new to the blogsphere, but I sometimes work things out as I type them out. This rambly post has solidified my resolve to keep trying to crank that engine. I'll check the spark plugs, oil the gears, whatever I've gotta do to sit down in my chair and transport myself to the Federalax (my sci-fi universe) or my urban fantasy Earth.

Whew. I'm ready for a knitting break after that navel-lint analysis!

Having selected over half of my topic tags, it looks like this is going to be a general round-up post on a bunch of topics. I'll take them alphabetically.

Christmas I'm just not getting in the mood this year. It sorta makes sense in the "it's an even year" way. It seems I've got this weird tradition that even years just don't go well. I keep trying to break the tradition... We're not putting up a tree this year for a number of reasons: 1 we sold our so-so fiber-optic tree before we moved from Arizona last year, 2 we really have no good place to put a tree and 3 with a tree comes the desire to put presents under the tree (being the material girl that I am!) and that doesn't blend well with free-range ferrets --- or cats!

It also doesn't help that I keep trying to capture the feeling of Christmas in Arizona. There's a certain smell, a certain feel to the air and the holiday that I can't find here. Color me incredibly homesick (and why isn't there any advice for adults on homesickness?).

Computers Mom's computer is up and running again with a new power supply. Don't know why the last one croaked, but I suspect it's the crappy electric quality she's getting and we've got her a new surge protector. Last weekend, we stopped at Fry's Electronics (all hail Fry's!). Unfortunately "Grand Opening" means "we haven't got all our stock in yet, try the other store". I was able to get Mom's UPS but not the keyboard and mouse extension cables. I still need to order those, but I keep forgetting to ask her to look at her plugs and verify their dongle type.

I wasn't able to find cool bling lights for Felix because of the lack of products on the new store's shelves. Despite the aisles of computer games to drool over, I saw nothing I wanted. *sigh* I need Starcraft 2 to come out! I picked up another hard drive. *yum* Randy got an antenna for his wireless router and Nick got a Nerf gun for his birthday. I get to swap Arcadia's parts for Beacon's parts sometime soon and someone is getting more hardrive space---about 400 GB!

Ferrets The worst part of our trip to Atlanta was the "axe-murderer" feeling I had for leaving our fur-babies behind. We cleaned the large cage and all the hammocks and set it up for them. We gathered all seven of them and tucked them into the cage. It seemed like Ukiah and Maxwell were looking at me in disappointment. "Mother, how could you?" But we did. We latched the cage doors and said good-bye. When I opened the front door Monday evening, Ukiah was right there to greet me. From the clean look of their cage (and the not-so-clean look of a couple of their favorite corners), I think they were out of the cage before we arrived in Atlanta!

But we brought them gifts! IKEA is great for ferret presents, by the way. They've got a line of soft toys with embroidered eyes! I brought home a baby-style giraffe for them, a huge "belephant" for me, a mama-and-baby "belephant for me, a giraffe for me, a toy box for them---which is adorable and they love it! I really need to get pictures of these things, they're so cute!

Knitting I finished "Vlad: the Anklet" over the weekend. I think I finished them Saturday night and wore them Sunday! I've got enough leftover to either make a matching tie or try to eke out another pair of anklets! I've started Randy's socks in Lion's Magic Stripe. I'm a little worried about getting 2 whole socks out of it for him. Eeek. I love knitting socks. It may be hard to get me to knit anything else. *grin* They are so complex and yet, so simple. They're wearable, so I can wear something I knitted. They're small so they can go everywhere with me. I love to daydream about the trip back to Arizona one day, with me knitting up socks by the dozen (ha!).

I really want to start my "Drapatic Ponchawl" again and see if I can make sense of my own design. *grin* I've wanted a poncho for forever but I want one that is flattering and fun to wear as well.

I owe Randy a blanket from *mumble*mumble* years ago. I've had the yarn but I couldn't find a basic pattern I liked. The yarn is variegated and I don't really like that kind of yarn. Most people try to avoid the "pooling" effect---I wish for it! Or a striping effect. So, I think I've found a pattern that will break up the annoyance of the variegation and bring it to a new level. I'm going to use the stitch in the DW Darrell Waltrip dishcloth. What do you think?

Reading I'm bored. I've got some books that I haven't read yet, but most of them just aren't grabbing my attention. *sigh* Anybody got any recommendations?

Roleplaying I just added Ptolus: City by the Spire to my Christmas wishlist. I don't feel bad in the least, since I've taken the spinning wheel off my list (hopefully waiting until we move). Being a writer, I have a hard time creating an adventure and letting the players cooperatively tell the story. I'm hoping that having a fully realized city/world to work from, I can DM more often and Randy can finally be a player again.

Secret Pal I don't think there's any "new" news here. I've got my December package ready to go...I just need to get to the post office! (Isn't that always the kink?) I think my Secret Pal is going to love her spoilage. I've had a lot of fun seeking out ideas for her.

Weight If you're paying attention, I've not updated my Weight Loss progress in a while. I have Thanksgiving to blame for that (that's my story and I'm sticking to it!). I need to get back on the Gazelle and do my 10 minutes a day (minimum). I don't mind it when I do, so I don't know why I don't do it more often. It probably isn't going to help that my local SnB is having the Christmas Secret Swap this week and I'm making truffles to take. *sigh* I will not give up. I will not give up.

Writing I've been wanting to write a werewolf "piece" (short? novel? I don't know) for some time now. The idea is starting to come together but I still only have a "backdrop", not an actual plot. *sigh*

I love that I have so much support for my writing around me. Mom loves my writing, saying it's better than some of the authors I've shown her (some of my favorites!). Randy thinks I've got talent and that I should keep working to get published. Nicky echoes his Dad and believes in me with the innocence of a child.

Meanwhile, I read a book like Minion and wonder what I've got to do to get published. The story hiding under poor editing here is potentially good. The problem I have is that the first book isn't complete by itself. The pacing during action scenes isn't well-done. There's weak writing, especially in the early parts of the book. Why can I recognize this and not write a piece that will be accepted?

I'm still waiting for news on the piece I've submitted to Analog. Randy has encouraged me to try the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction for this piece, if Analog doesn't take it. Meanwhile, I really want to write more, but I feel like my well of inspiration is dry. *sigh* (And somehow, I'm sure that feeds back into my feelings on Christmas this year...)

Wow. That's a lot of catch-up. Hope you weren't too bored. Where's all the entries for the Denise Needles? The deadline looms, knitters (or friends/family of knitters)!

Time to make the truffles.

Goal #1 for the day is achieved: I submitted "Heat of Ice" to Analog for their perusal. Now I'm supposed to forget about it and keep writing. Yeah. Uh-huh.

If I want to reach any other goals for the day, that'll have to be all for now.

We went up to Mom's this past weekend to move her computer downstairs. This is the computer I built for her last year (I'm the hardware geek in the family!). After what felt like a comedy of errors, we ended up bringing her computer home because the power supply is acting flakey.

I'm also expecting parts this week to build another whole computer for a friend of Mom's. And Randy is expressing an interest in having me assemble the miscellaneous parts we have here into a "music and gaming" box that he can make boot to Windows (we're an all-Linux household, so gaming has been particularly frustrating in that respect).

Meanwhile, I received two more skeins of sock yarn in the mail today! I think I've got a backlog of about 15 pairs right now. *grin* That's not me complaining---that's me really excited! I don't know why I get such a kick out of socks. Vlad: the Anklet is coming along. I've got one sock completed and the second sock is ready for me to knit the heel flap.

I checked my weight this morning and I've already lost a total of 6 pounds. I can't believe that, but hey---I'll take it! I've backed down to 10 minutes a night on the Gazelle because my heart has been acting funny. Mom says it'd be better to do one 10 minute session each day than a single 20 minute session every other day. I'll give that a try for a while and see how I do.

And finally, I edited some writing today. Woo. Hoo. I'm not terribly jazzed about it; I don't see any problems with the actual words and sentences. But there's this mechanical feeling to the piece right now that I can't get beyond. I need to figure out some plot issues and see what the "big picture" should look like and then maybe I can get some steam under me.

I guess that's all for now.