Ferrets

Why is it that, even when we know death is coming, we're still not ready to lose the one we love?

We had to make The Decision -- the one all pet owners are aware of and dread -- today, for Theodore. This boy has had a really interesting life (and we're sure we didn't know the half of it!). He was found, running the streets of Savannah, GA by a gal by the name of Melanie. Her friend Julie had a ferret that wasn't doing well after losing a companion ferret. Julie took this friendly, curious boy in and named him "Snaps". He was a great comfort to his new ferret friend, Ginger until she passed on and joined her ferret companion Fred.

Julie knew she couldn't adopt again, but he deserved a chance to play and have much more ferret fun. So she made a different tough decision: to give Snaps a home with more ferrets.

That's where we came into this amazing boy's life. I remember the day I met him -- he almost lept from Julie's hands, he was so excited to meet new people! And he's always been like that. What surprised us most was that he bonded with Maya, our first re-homed ferret who'd been brought to our vet's office, having been found wandering the streets of Savannah. It seemed they either knew each other or were able to communicate to each other about their free-range lives before us.

When we lost Maya so suddenly on my birthday in 2007, I thought for sure we'd lose Theo soon after that. We all spent a lot of time with him, cuddling him and making sure he knew how loved he was. He pulled through her loss.

Then, he started having seizures and my research told me he had insulinoma. This meant we had to make sure his blood sugar didn't drop too low and be ready to treat a seizure with a little Karo syrup rubbed on his gums. The seizures were terrifying. A couple of them were so bad, I wondered if The Decision was close at hand. But each time, he pulled out of it and was back to his bouncy, playful self.

Oh, he was older. And it showed in the less frequent playful periods, but when he played, he played. And when he slept, he was so sacked out, he'd sleep himself into a crash. So, our vet said to wake him and feed him "gushy food" (usually a mix of Gerber baby food and feline a/d) to prevent the crashes.

Then, earlier this year, I noticed a knot or a lump on his belly, near his penis. I was worried his "boy mechanics" were being tied up and causing problems, so we took him in to see Dr. Funk again. Without anesthesia and surgery, he said it would be hard to be sure, but he felt confident it wasn't interferring with the internals much. It grew rapidly -- I mean scary-fast. Today, after he was gone and there was just a body there, I felt around and it was about the size of a large walnut or bigger.

I think all pet owners question all their decisions when there's no clear-cut right or wrong to follow. We work from our hearts and from what we believe we can read in the eyes of our beloved pets. I chose, with Randy's agreement, those several months back, not to pursue removal of the tumor because it would require anesthesia. My reading and the knowledge of vets past and present has led me to believe that the older ferrets just don't do as well coming out of surgery. Something about the anesthesia just messes them up and some just fade away. So, we decided to pass on the surgery and give him as many love and treat filled months as we could.

That came to an end today. We're not sure exactly what changed, but Randy found him huddled up in a corner yesterday weaker than a new-born kit. With supportive care, he curled up for sleep. Sixteen hours later, he still had little to no mobility. Holding him, he was constantly shivering/shuddering. And his eyes, normally bright and attentive, seemed glassy with pain to me.

We scheduled with Dr. Funk and this tough street-smart ferret hung on, even in pain. When he was gone, it was just like a light had left the body and the shell was dark. We brought his body home to let all the ferrets say their good-byes. It's a step which is so important to our pets. Considering how social ferrets are, I believe it would have been cruel to not bring Theo's body home for this good-bye.

Once the good-byes were all said, we returned to the vet's to give over Theo's body for cremation. It's a private cremation, so we'll have his remains back with us soon.

Theodore will be joining his first companion, Ginger, his second companion Maya and other cage=mates Elijah, Octavia and Zoë. Theodore never knew Kittanning and Maxwell, but they'll be there to greet you. Remember Nana's Wheezy and Mousey and Huskers, too! You'll have so many friends -- remember Heinlein-kitty? -- just have fun and we'll see each other again, someday.

Sorry about the whole "missing blog" thing there... we had a little snafu on our end. It's funny how the ISP expects us to pay the bill to keep this site running. :) No big, huge deal (as I keep telling Randy!). (Note to self, so he'll quit beating himself up: don't forget to run a back-up of the blog and make a cron job to do it automagically.)

I am only just now getting email running again. Somehow, something went kerblooey with Postfix and I ended up having to upgrade it to fix it. But, it is running now and any personal messages should resend without any hiccups. If you did email me at this domain name and don't hear a response in the next 24 hours or so, query me with a fresh email and see if I ever received the original. :)

Life is going on, despite Elijah's so sudden demise. It's times like this when I realize how lucky I am, to have such wonderful people in my life. They're there for me when I need them---something I'm really getting used to! To my amazing friends and family: y'all are spoiling me!

Have I mentioned our housemate on here yet? I know I've been woefully absent... there's just not a whole heck of a lot that is really interesting enough to write, let alone expect anyone else will want to read... but this is something I should have mentioned. Let me re-cap.

Back in late March, a friend connected us with Rowan because we all have a lot in common and the "let's get together one day" became urgent when his roommates of the time ditched him with no warning. We've been struggling to make ends meet and he needed a place... this sounds too good to be true, doesn't it?

The first get-together was great and there was an instant friendship. Fast-forward past moving day and the settling in and here we are today, unable to believe there was ever a time we didn't know each other. Rowan is like the older brother I never had (and always wanted!).

We're working on a garden out in the great room. Since he's also better with a camera than I am, maybe I'll get him to snap some digitals of this "Room of Greenery", so I can upload them to flickr and share them with y'all. We're growing the standard houseplants like pothos, spider plant and ivy, but we're also growing cuccumbers, carrots, red and yellow peppers (from seeds we saved from store-bought peppers we had for dinner!), broccoli, "salad greens" (why didn't we just go straight to spinach?), lavendula angustifolia... Rowan has branched out and is thus far successful with his attempts to start a sweet potato, a citrus tree (well, okay, it's just a seedling so far), popcorn, fenugreek, mustard seed... I know I'm forgetting something. Oh! We have a store-bought parsley and a store-bought mint plant we're keeping alive. We're not so sure about the store-bought basil. So far we've managed to kill one basil (with help from the ferrets), and we're working on the second one. Oh, we also have sage and kalanchoe degremontia. We have so much kalanchoe degremontia, we'll probably be asking people to take it off our hands. I wonder if it's edible at all?

In other news, I've made a personal commitment to participate in NaNoWriMo for the third time---and the first time since the car accident. That'll be some serious writing for me. I don't have the faintest idea of a story to start from. Rowan and I were talking about books and he said he has yet to see a strong gay-male portrayal in science-fiction. Since I can't think of one right off the top of my head (and since I lean towards female protagonists frequently), I figured that was Challenge Number One I'd take on for this NaNo novel.

That means I've got 2.5 months to get anything I want to do done, so that the entire month of November is focused on that 50,000 word limit. I've done the math in the past and I've got two different "daily minumums" to focus on. If I want the weekends off (and I do, since I'm tabletop gaming 2 Saturdays a month and LARPing 2 days a month), I need to get 2381 words per day in. If I count my weekend-days as "available writing time", that number comes down to 1667 words per day. So, if you thought blog entries had been scarce before... Hopefully, I'll just limit myself to short and sweet entries.

If there's anyone out there who still reads this blog, I've got a question for you. If you could choose, would you prefer to read a portion of a short story and then decide whether it was worth paying for the rest or would you rather read the whole thing and have the option of a "tip jar"? I've gone around and around on this and haven't progressed on doing anything about it because one choice (the "tip jar" option) lets my writing loose in the world and could close doors down the road. So, I'm eager to hear from the 3 or 4 people who read here what you'd prefer. While you're sounding off, I'm looking for a good price for the pay-for-the-rest option (which will actually be for the whole story 'cause that's what you'll get when you buy: the whole thing formatted nicely by yours truly).

Oh and a Josephine McKenzie style greeting goes out to any Camarilla members who might be new readers. My email signature on Gmail has this blog on it, so, "Hey all!" Drop a comment and let me know you stopped by.

Hey, it's seven o'clock in the morning. Do you think I should finally go to bed? yawn Yeah, me too.

Elijah Benjamin, rest in peace

We lost Elijah during the night last night. We don't know exactly why and we are not having an autopsy done. Randy told me he's felt like he wouldn't have Elijah with him much longer... Elijah is one of three ferrets I had on my "I'll be surprised if they are with us in 2010" list. Still, he wasn't the first I expected to go.

This little stinker has been the hardest of all the ferrets to get good photos of. Almost every picture we have of him where he's actually looking at the camera has "demon eyes" because of how his eyes pick up the flash. This was the best picture of the group.

Rest in peace, sweetie. No more gimpy knee for you! Say "hi" to Maxwell for me.

Edited for clarity, now that it's not 5 am!

There's been a lot going on and I'm realizing I haven't blogged about much of it. So, let me gather my thoughts and catch up here.

First, about a month ago, we added someone to our household. No---I did not have a baby! We have a new friend who has become a housemate. Rowan is an excellent cook---we've been eating really good meals lately, let me tell you! Banana bread. Avocado bread. Meatloaf. Stir Fry. Cake (!). I'm beginning to suspect I'm being fattened up so I can be served as the Thanksgiving Turkey! Wink Actually, his meatloaf is better than Randy's----that's saying something.

Rowan has two of the downstairs rooms, with his three cats: Kidman, Calculus and Tasslehoff. Though it's been about a month since we moved him in, Rowan's couch is still in the hall downstairs 'cause we can't get it into either of the rooms! Randy and Frank (another friend---I think I mentioned him on the alpaca farm post) had to saw off the legs some just to get it down stairs...and then some more to try to get it through the door to the bedroom...but they both were wiped by that point, so two legs still need cutting off!

I moved Nick upstairs some time back. I just cannot manage those stairs and he sleeps through smoke alarms and everything else! But recently, we re-arranged a tad bit: the dining room became Nick's room by moving the short Billy Bookcases and the acrylic 40 gallon aquarium to create a "wall" across from the downstairs doors. It's not perfect (yet), but Nick has "his" space now and we've moved the dining table into the great room. It floats a bit more than I'd like, but eventually we're hoping to add a sofa and chair in the great room for more casual seating near the fire place.

Now that I've sold off almost one entire full-height Billy Bookcase, I've got space to put my DVDs on shelves and get some additional boxes broken down. Hopefully soon, I can do the same with photo albums.

I don't think I blogged about the absolutely terrifying experience of having two ferrets stung by a scorpion. When it happened, I didn't see the scorpion so I didn't know at first what the cause of the problem was. I initially thought Ukiah was choking on something. I pounded on his back, trying to dislodge whatever it was. When a ferret chokes, for some reason, they foam at the mouth. I'd seen this before and while scary, I thought it'd be easily solved...only the pounding wasn't helping and he got more panicked.

I screamed for Randy and together we tried to figure out what what choking him. I got too close to teeth and Ukiah inadvertently bit me. Shortly after that, I began to see blood coming from his mouth. I was freaking out pretty badly. What the hell is wrong with my baby? Randy deduced that the panic had caused Ukiah to bite his tongue. My poor baby was still not doing well. Something did change shortly after this because the choking changed to more of a gasping, with body twitches---they looked like seizures. And most web pages tried to say this was a blood sugar crash and likely insulinoma.

Theodore has insulinoma. I've seen crashes with seizures. This was not the same thing. And then, it got worse. Nick came running in, with Horatio doing the same thing. Originally, Horatio had been in the office with us and I had told Nick to put him in the cage so we could focus on Ukiah...only Horatio started having the same problems. While not as severe, for a little while there, we had three humans trying to help two ferrets breathe. I was having nightmare visions of all ten of my darlings doing this at once. The twitching and panicky fighting for breath, with no one to hold them and keep them from hurting themselves....oh gods, please, no...

No other ferrets showed signs of doing the same thing. Still, we had two ferrets gasping, twitching, almost seizing, at 2am on a Friday morning. After an hour of this, Ukiah was exhausted and Horatio was only a shade better than that. The twitches kept returning at odd times.

I can't recall now why we suspected a scorpion sting. But at some point I specifically looked up scorpion stings and the symptoms for the bark scorpion were identical:

I finally contacted the emergency clinic my vet is associated with, but they didn't have the exotic expert on duty. They did give me a number for an exotic vet who deals with scorpion stings. This vet (I've forgotten his name) suggested we'd be looking at $600-700 to begin with, depending on how much supportive care Ukiah and Horatio needed.

I left a message with my vet's office, asking to be scheduled for as soon as we could possibly get in. We took both babies in and Dr. Funk agreed to acquire some anti-venom and support them in hospital while he did so. It turned out Ukiah's temperature was dropping, so they gave him some heat as well as hydrating both of them. There was another drug they administered---Randy said it's commonly used to treat against nerve gas (I think) but I'm blanking on the name of it right now. Between that drug and the anti-venom, these two boys were being given every chance to return to full health.

Thanks to a fellow ferret lover (and small breeder) on Ravelry, I also spoke to the vet about being shown how to administer fluid "sub-q" (medical-speak for fluid injected below the skin but not into a vein or muscle). Ferret skin is extremely tough and I was surprised how they didn't squirm at the needle, but the saline being pushed in. When the saline is warmed to be closer to their body temperature, they seemed to be less annoyed/irritated by this procedure.

Forty-eight hours after the episode started, my two boys were definitely looking at a full recovery. Now, it's been just over a month (this all happened on April 2nd!) and I would have no way of knowing this had ever happened to them (except for the whimpers from my credit card: it cost me $500 for the both of them to be saved).

I've also had some healthy issues of my own. My fibromyalgia has become worse, for one. I had hoped returning to the desert would return me to where I was in early 2005, prior to our car accident. I'm only now realizing that the accident itself probably escalated my symptoms---and therefore my pain levels.

I've never been a white-glove housekeeper, but I've usually been reasonably good at keeping things decent. Those days are fading and I'm not accepting that change gracefully, unfortunately. Folding and hanging a couple baskets of laundry can wear me out. Scraping/scrubbing/rinsing dishes and loading the dishwasher has me drenched in sweat (how attractive!) and exhausted as well. I have found I need to work on the kitchen in stages. Load the dishwasher, then rest. Return to wipe down counters and scrub the stove clean, then rest. I can't clean the microwave over the stove any more because it hurts my back.

Ugh. Cataloging all of this is depressing, isn't it? I'll focus on the good things---like a husband who doesn't expect me to be a 1950s-era housewife, with fresh make-up and dinner on the table for his arrival home from work. Or friends who truly understand my limitations and don't think ill of me because my home isn't what it should be. I had become so accustomed (how? why?) to having to explain myself---why I can't do, why I'm scared to do...and so on.

In fact, I was contemplating going back to school to get my Masters in Architecture. At Arizona State University, it would be a 3+ program, since I didn't major in architecture for my Bachelor's. But, I don't believe I could handle the course load and the homework, the studying and still being a mother and a wife and "just me". Plus, why spend even more money on yet another degree I wouldn't use because I don't believe I could return to the work force? So, instead I've been focusing on what I can do. I still have a lot of support around me to continue my writing.

In the meantime, there's more to my health than my fibro. I went in for my annual "well woman exam"...how PC and vague. Those who need well woman exams know full well what gets checked out: boobs and bush. I also had concerns about my cycle: it's too heavy and too painful! (And that might be TOO much information!)

The well woman exam leads to the annual pancake exam. I don't turn 40 until next February, but I've been getting mammograms since about 35...and after the car accident, I had more done because of the damage to my left breast. It appeared to be "just" really intense bruising (dark purple to black) but after that, I noticed a lump and we all paid close attention to it. Finally I had it removed (before we returned to Arizona). The surgery to remove it could cause another one because the whole thing started with the internal scarring from the accident.

My mammograms came back with some questions, so I'm scheduled to go back in on Tuesday for a second pancakse exam. I need to hunt through my filing cabinet and hope I can lay my hands on my films and records from back in South Carolina. That'll give them something to compare against.

I also had an ultrasound done to examine my uterus---doesn't this all just sound like a really cool party? Not! They ended up doing it trans-vaginally---there's a fun word--and that gave them some really good images. And it leads to yet another exam. Apparently, the lining of my uterus is thick. This is something which happens as we get older, but since I've been having pain and other issues, my NP wants to make sure there's no cancer pre-cursors...so I get to go in for an endometrial biopsy.

Depending how all these things go, I'm debating a variety of methods of altering my cycle. The ones which truly scare me are the ones which are designed to scar the lining of my uterus, so I don't build up a layer every month and then shed it. But I also have no idea what adding hormones ("the pill" or variants of it) would do to my body. I'm already on Cymbalta and Lyrica....how would "the pill" affect those drugs and/or my body?

I was over at Bookman's the other day and found a tarot deck I really like. I've bought two others in the past and ended up passing them on or stashing them 'cause they just didn't "click" with me. The new deck is the Fenestra Tarot. I like the muted colors of the deck---not garish or too bright. We'll see how it works for me.

I came across another tarot deck I simply must purchase as soon as I have a little play money again. The Ferret Tarot is just too adorable for words. And I suspect it would click with me quite well. Also, the cards have not been laminated, so I could color the cards in as I like (and perhaps take them to a Kinkos for laminating afterwards?).

What frustrates me right now is that I have two sets of runes...and I have no idea where they are. I'm also missing a short silver (the color, not necessarily the metal) dagger I use for a letter opener. What else am I missing? Is there a box hiding in a corner, chuckling at all the secrets it holds that I've forgotten I have?

It's 5am, I've got heartburn and I'm probably not coherent in a couple places up above. I'm going to post this---I thought there was one or two other topics I wanted to bring up, but I can't remember them now. I may add to this post or start a new one with anything I've forgotten.

I thought I'd share this with my readers in case any of you are ferret owners yourselves. The Ferret Giving Tree is up and seeking Secret Santas for many ferrets spending their holidays in shelters. Click on the button to go see the tree and select a ferret to spoil.

If you are on Ravelry, check out the Ferret Fanatics group. We're voting through Monday on the ferret/shelter we're going to spoil---you can join us, if you like!

Okay, most of you know I'm rather addicted to Ravelry. I love the patterns and being able to search on a variety of elements. I love the yarns and the colors people have stashed and being able to help someone destash while increasing my stash (or, rarely, vice versa). But I haven't talked much here about the groups on Ravelry. Trust me when I say, "If you can think of it, there's already a group for it." Yup, even that.

So it shouldn't come as a shock to realize I'm not only a member of Ferret Fanatics on Ravelry, but I'm pretty active there. Recently, a new member (to me, at least) popped in and announced a contest. The idea was to come up with images of our ferrets and give them really good captions which epitomized life with ferrets. We would vote on them by clicking on the agree button. Each time someone does that, the label for the button changes, from agree (1) to agree (2) and so on. That's why you might be seeing a lot of shirts like this or like this around and about. Ravelry is everywhere!

Time went by and I think we all forgot about the contest, until one of the members "burned the ears" (magic-linked, so they'd get a PM that someone was talking about them) of the original poster who sponsored the contest. The votes were tallied and Samuel's picture/caption tied for 2nd place!!! Woooo-hoooo!

(Hey, I take my thrills wherever I can get them!)

The prize was 5 buttons of my winning design plus 10 buttons from the ‘ferret collection’ of buttons. They arrived today. Wow. So cool. Look:

This is the whole collection in one shot. (Okay, a crappy shot, but it's late and I'm tired.)

These four are slogans with no ferrets on them. (So I'm making them small and you can just go to my flickr set to seem them bigger 'cause I'm too lazy tonight to link all these buttons!)

These two tied for 4th place. The left one says "Ferret Proof Isn't" and the right one says "Mischief: I Makes It".

The first place winner says "Rescue a Ferret". The tie for second place says "No Paparazzi Please".

This is the 2nd place button Samuel won. It's a picture of Samuel rolling in an empty (clean) litter box. The caption says "What? I'm using my litter box.... Aren't I?"

I think this one is so awesome. The original photo has been done up as a poster for the owner with a caption that says "ROFL" in big letters and underneath that "EEEE! Stop! Stop! I can't....oooohahahaha!!!" It's hilarious. (The picture is really of a ferret yawning, for those not in the know about ferrets, but it really looks like he's holding his belly and laughing....)

And my personal favorite of all of them: Samuel's beautiful face filling a button. This is the avatar I use on Ravelry and many other places around the 'net. It's as connected to me as my "annekaelber" ID.

It's a rare week on Ravelry that I don't get at least one private message or response to a forum post commenting on the cute wuzzel that is my Ravatar. In fact, it's so connected to me (in my mind, at least) that I'm thinking of doing some "stylizing" of the image to reduce it to something more easily reproduce-able on a business card. Not that I need business cards, but I've been wanting to make calling cards for some time. I'm always out-and-about and wanting to give someone a way to contact me that won't be so easily lost. And since I'll probably give them out like businesses give out their business cards (or close to it), I want to keep the design simple (read that: cheap) and still have it "click" for people who meet me in Real Life.

If you're stopping by to see this post from Ferret Fanatics, do say hi. And if you'd like me to link to your Rav profile or somewhere else, I'd be glad to...I don't like to give other people's names and/or identities away without their permission. smile